Feel like hurting yourself?
There are many reasons why people might want to hurt themselves on purpose, or ‘self-harm’. For some, it’s a way to cope with, express or relieve overwhelming emotions or tension. Self-harm can also be a way of showing someone how upset you feel. It can be a way of feeling in control especially if other parts of your life feel out of control, or you’re trapped in a difficult situation.
If you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, help is available. Take a look at the resources below to find support that’s right for you.
How can I get help?
If you’re having overwhelming thoughts of suicide and don’t feel confident that you can keep yourself safe visit our ‘Urgent help‘ page for advice on where you can access immediate support.
Coping with suicidal thoughts over time
If you’ve had suicidal thoughts before, you might already know some things that help you get through difficult moments but it can be helpful to revisit your safety plan to make sure it’s still right for you. If you’re experiencing these feelings for the first time, it can take time to work out what helps you feel safer and more supported.
There isn’t one right way to cope, and you don’t have to work it all out on your own. Try to notice the people, places and things that help you feel a little more supported or in control. Small steps can make a difference.
The resources listed below can help you find ways to cope, create a safety plan and get support when you need it.
Why do people self-harm?
Some people do it to try and feel more in control of their lives. Others may take risks that put their lives in danger, such as starting fights or hanging out with people who are not good for them. Using drugs and alcohol can make people take risks and do things they wouldn’t normally do when sober.
People self-harm for many different reasons and although it may seem like a good way to handle a difficult time or situation, it is not a positive coping strategy. It can give short term relief but self-harm won’t fix the root cause. It can add to your stress and even become a habit (like smoking) that you find hard to break.
Although you may not fully understand why you want to self-harm, there are ways to help you understand why your do it, cope and get help.
Support
Self-harm chat & support
Mental Health Matters runs an online self-harm peer support group.
Self-Harm Chat & Support
Every Wednesday 3:30 – 5pm online.
Supportive, open and frank conversation around self-harm and anything else in a safe space.
Ages: 16+
Email: share@mhmwales.org (for details and meeting ID)
Youthscape – Alumina
Alumina is a free, online 7-week course for young people struggling with self-harm.
Young people can access the sessions online from across the UK. The courses are run by friendly, trained counsellors and volunteer youth workers. You don’t need an adult to refer you or sign you up, and no-one will see or hear you during the sessions – you’ll just join in via a chatbox.
Ages: 10-17 year olds
The Jac Lewis Foundation
The Jac Lewis Foundation has a number of different projects supporting the emotional health and wellbeing of children, young people and adults across Swansea, Neath Port Talbot and Ammanford.
- Bereavement through Suicide Project
- Swansea City Football Mental Health Hub
- West Glamorgan Counselling Service
- Youth Service Project
Helplines
Shout
Shout is a free, confidential, 24/7 text support service for anyone in the UK who is struggling to cope, including those in crisis.
To start a conversation, text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258. Trained Shout Volunteers are here to listen at any time of day or night and messages won’t appear on your phone bill.
MEIC
A helpline service for young people up to the age of 25 in Wales. Support is available in Welsh and English. 8am until midnight, 7 days a week.
- Online chat available
- Freephone or WhatsApp: 0808 80 23456
- Text (free): 07943 114 449
Childline
Get support from Childline’s counsellors 24/7. Free and Available to all under 18s in the UK.
- Send a message
- Online chat available
- Freephone helpline: 0800 1111
- BSL Counselling
Samaritans
Whatever you’re going through, a Samaritan will face it with you. We’re here 24 hours a day, 365 days a year
YoungMinds Parents Helpline
We offer tailored information, advice and support to parents and carers who are concerned about their child or young person’s mental health.
You can use our Helpline service if you are the parent or main carer of a child or young person aged 25 or under. Our service is available across the UK. It is free and confidential.
You can speak to us over the phone, chat to us online or email us.
Tel: 0808 802 5544
Chat: Available here
Email: parents@youngminds.org.uk
Things you might find useful
Calm Harm app
An award winning app developed in collaboration with young people and based on evidence-based principals drawn from clinical psychology.
Using the app you will:
- Learn to resist or manage the urge to self-harm.
- Develop helpful techniques to break the cycle of self-harm.
- Explore your underlying trigger factors.
- Build a safety net of helpful thoughts and behaviours.
Age: 12+
distrACT app
The distrACT app gives you easy, quick and discreet access to information and advice about self-harm and suicidal thoughts.
Suitable for young people aged 16+.
Stay Alive app
A confidential pocket suicide prevention app with useful information and tools to help you stay safe in crisis. Use it if you are having thoughts of suicide or if you are concerned about someone else who is.
Features include:
- Access to a database of local, national and online crisis support.
- Create your own ‘Lifebox’, a place to store meaningful videos, audio and photos.
- Create a tailored safety plan using thought-provoking questions (it can be helpful to share this with other people you trust).
- Wellness plan – a place to store positive thoughts and things that inspire you.
- Reasons for living – add statements reminding you why you should live.
- Guidance and advice for anyone supporting someone in a crisis.
Heads Above The Waves safety plan
This Self-Harm Safety Plan from Heads Above the Waves can help you think about what you’re feeling and what alternative activities you can draw on to help you get through difficult moments as alternatives to self-harming.
You can use the plan to help you:
- recognise what you’re feeling, such as anger, sadness, anxiety or numbness
- think about things that help you cope with those feelings
- find alternatives to self-harm that you can try when things feel overwhelming
- have a plan ready for when you need it.
Creating your plan when you’re feeling calmer means you’ll have something to turn to when things become difficult.
YoungMinds
YoungMinds is a trusted online resource for young people and their parents and carers. The site covers a range of mental health and wellbeing topics, including what to do if you’re a young person experiencing suicidal thoughts or if your child is.
If you’re a young person looking for guidance to help you understand more about self-harm or support, this page from YoungMinds may help. If you’re a parent or carer head here.
Coping with suicidal thoughts and feelings
Having suicidal thoughts and feelings can be really scary. You might feel alone and like you don’t know how to keep going. But even if things don’t change straight away, you can start to feel better.
This web page from Childline explores different ways to help you cope with these feelings.
SilverCloud
If your child or young person is experiencing symptoms of anxiety or low mood, they are not alone.
Parents and carers can sign up for a free, 12-week online guided self-help programme to support children and young people aged 4-18 who are experiencing mild-moderate symptoms.
Teenagers aged 16-18 can also sign up for their own free programme independently of a parent or carer.
Coping with self harm: a guide for parents and carers
This guide from Charlie Waller has been developed from conversations with parents and carers of young people experiencing difficult times. It is aimed at helping parents, carers, other family members and friends cope when a young person is self-harming.
Topics covered include:
- Signs a young person is self-harming
- Finding out about self-harm
- Reasons for self-harm
- What you can do to support a child who self-harms
- Tips for looking after yourself
Free webinar with Charlie Waller Trust
Supporting young people experiencing thoughts of suicide.
This webinar is for parents, carers, educators and anyone working with young people to gain a better understanding of suicide and how to support a young person who might be experiencing thoughts of suicide .
In this webinar, you will learn:
- About the factors that could lead to someone thinking of suicide
- How to support a young person
- Protective factors to help young people stay safe
- Share useful resources and signposting